Last weekend, NPR re-aired a Life Kit story on how to host a meaningful party. Probably timed for the post-Thanksgiving comedown and before December celebrations, it was a nice reminder about what all this celebrating is for, especially after almost two years of not gathering.
Did we all forget how?
In the story, reporter Diba Mohtsahm interviews Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering. Her biggest takeaway about hosting is that “the meaning comes through how you connect people, through the conversations that you have, through the questions that you ask.” In this twenty-two minute segment, identifying a party’s purpose is objective number one, which then dictates the entire shape of the party, who is invited, what food and drink will be served. It’s such a simple idea that, possibly, few have started out with. Often, hosting feels obligatory, a birthday party, a baby shower, a graduation.
When GrayDot founder, Yvette Kopoushian, came up with the idea of hosting a Friendsgiving for each of her childrens’ classmates, she was subconsciously identifying her kids’ need to connect with their friends and her need to meet and gather with their parents. Because they all started a new school during the pandemic, opportunities to gather have been limited. This was an effort at community building, so Yvette kept the details simple with store-bought pies and snacks, which allowed her to be a present host. As Parker says in the Life Kit story, the host is there to connect and protect the guests.
Knowing that she and her family have a busy December and on the heels of Friendsgivings and her son’s birthday dinner, Yvette made another unconscious yet intentional hosting decision and booked a trip to San Diego with her husband and kids for Thanksgiving week. She chose against the hustle and bustle of the holiday, of limited turkeys, long lines at the grocery store and sold-out honey baked ham shops. While even professional chefs/media moguls were lamenting about cooking for Thanksgiving, Yvette and family were kayaking, hiking and taking in the sunsets. All of the big feelings about holiday gatherings will be waiting for her at Christmas. Stay tuned.